The Gift of Hope

I've been reflecting a lot this Christmas season on the idea of Hope. As I sat in a Christmas Eve service this year, it occurred to me that this is really what the true gift of Christmas is all about. Humankind was lost in darkness, striving after a better life--a life with purpose and fulfillment--and the God of Hope who was ready for this all along sent His Son to the earth to make this kind of life possible. He restored the hope of the world by giving us the only thing that could restore us and bring us all out of death in to Life.

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the music; I love the food and the fellowship; and, I love the presents, both given and received. But this year I received possibly the best gift of all: the gift of Hope--the gift of an answer. One week before Christmas I had a doctor's appointment and, much to my own surprise, I walked out of that appointment with a diagnosis. I have Chronic Lyme Disease.

Technically speaking, this diagnosis is still tentative. There are other tests I can run (and probably will--if I can justify the cost just for the sake of more certainty) but they may or may not provide any more conclusive answers than what we already have. Based on the muscle tests I took at my appointment, I tested highly positive for all the treatment options that are most commonly used to treat Lyme and, based on those test results, my doctor determined that the diagnosis of Lyme is at least 60% certain. He also said he anticipates at least an 80% likelihood that the treatment regime he prescribed will be successful. Those seem like pretty good odds!

So, until I decide whether it's worth another few hundred dollars to try for a more definitive answer, I am perfectly comfortable saying that this is the answer I've been looking for. I have Chronic Lyme Disease. More importantly, I have hope of recovery again. I'd like to think that deep down I never really doubted that someday we would find an answer and maybe I could get my life back again, but the experience of actually seeing that light at the end of the tunnel ahead is a completely different feeling. Now I can be sure of what I hope for, certain of what I do not yet see. I know that there is something to hope for instead of just hoping for a better future.

In a nutshell, what Chronic Lyme Disease means is that I have an infection present in my body that is wreaking havoc on my whole system. Primarily, it suppresses my immune system, clearing the way for untold other viruses, bacteria, and fungi to come in and set up camp. The Lyme infection also releases a variety of toxins into my body, as a type of self-protection/self-preservation. These toxins also attack my immune system and adrenals (which regulate my energy, sleep patterns, stress levels, hormones, etc) as well as many of the neurotransmitters that are responsible for my mental functions, including concentration, short term and long term memory, reaction time, ability to make connections, mental stamina, and many others. This type of infection can explain basically all of the symptoms I've been experiencing in one way or another.

My doctor said it could take between 6 months and 2 years before I am fully recovered. There will be many different stages of the process, each with their own new challenges and possible side effects. The first step is to prepare for the metaphorical "battle" I am about to fight with my own body. The only way to fight an infection of this magnitude is with several rounds of different antibiotics. However, that process will cause more toxins and fungi to be released as the virus tries to fight back, so before jumping into that attack we are trying to make my body more prepared to handle the fallout. I am now on my second week of a wide variety of new supplements to serve this purpose. I am on very strong probiotics, antioxidant boosters, and something called BH4, to minimize the effects of the antibiotics on my system. I am taking a heavy-duty detox treatment which not only helps release and process the toxins in my body but also prevents them from being re-absorbed in the digestive tract (as they are with many detox therapies). This treatment also works to dissolve the "biofilm" which is a protective film bubble an infection creates to prevent antibiotics from being able to reach it. I am taking large amounts of Vitamin C, Vitamin, D, DHEA, and adrenal support to help boost my immune system so that my body can help the antibiotics fight of the intruder. Next week, I will be starting anti-fungals, Garlic (which is a natural antibiotic, antioxidant, antiviral, antibacterial, and anti-fungal), in addition to the antibiotic Doxycyclene.

In order to avoid many of the ill-effects antibiotics can cause, we are treating with a "pulse therapy" approach--which basically means we will alternate between different types of antibiotics every 6 weeks or so. This also helps prevent against building up an immunity to the medication. I am already getting a bit overwhelmed with the sheer number of new pills I am trying to keep track of (not an easy task when short-term memory is such a struggle already!) but I can already tell they are definitely making a difference. It will probably be several months at least before I start experiencing significant positive changes, and the whole process will come with many dips and bumps before a solid upward progression begins. However, after hearing from many sources that so often chronic fatigue issues are life-long, un-treatable issues, I am thrilled just to have the hope that a few years from now I may be back to relatively normal!

Before I wrap up, I want to take a minute to thank you all, my friends and family, for being so supportive and encouraging through this whole process. Your comments, notes, and especially your prayers have done so very much to keep me positive and get me to this point. I need you now more than ever, as I begin the real journey to recovery. May you all find encouragement in the God who offers His people a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11)!