I think I lost November... does anyone know where it went?

Wow, over 2 weeks since I have posted and I definitely feel behind. I love this time of year--when the world quiets down and the people in it start to bustle. It is a time for baking and travelling and time with family and friends, planning and shopping and reflecting on the last year, which is quickly coming to a close, while preparing for the new year ahead. Beautiful. Unfortunately, this is also a time of year when difficulty with stress-management strikes me as a particularly difficult setback. I think everyone can sympathize when I say that whether it's trying to book plane flights and request time off work or trying to find that "perfect gift" for the in-laws or just trying to cram in as much "seasonal joy"--decorations, eggnog lattes, taking time to appreciate the pretty lights, etc--as possible, all the beauty and wonder that comes with this time of year so easily gets sucked up by the inevitably stressful hubbub. I'm so glad that in the midst of this there is still a holiday that reminds us to be thankful.

I feel like I have so many updates to post about, but I also feel it would be remiss of me to brush past this profound recognition I am having that it is really all the little things in life that make it worth living. I am so thankful for the life I have been given, even though I sometimes wish I could change so many things about it. I am immensely blessed. Today, I am particularly thankful for my family. I confess, I was apprehensive about spending over a week with my in-laws for thanksgiving. I do not do well with travelling, especially lately; I miss the comfort and familiarity of home--my own couch, my own food, all those things I didn't have room for in my suitcase--not to mention just the privacy of being able to make breakfast in my underwear or lie on the couch moaning when I don't feel good. Still, I am so enjoying this time to make my new family in my life feel like MY family (and not just HIS family). From the moment I arrived, they demonstrated a care and understanding that I think only a real family is capable of. I love these wonderful people and the way they live their lives. We share so many values and yet we have so many radically different experiences. I both love and hate this awkward but beautiful dance of trying to teach ourselves to each other. I am still learning to feel included and at home, but I think that is only natural when you are welcomed into a family of perfect strangers (marriage is such a weird event!).

I could not be more thankful for my husband. I married the most patient, caring, and flexible man on the planet. He dotes on me far more than he should and I really don't know where I would be if I didn't have him to take care of me. Possibly my biggest frustration with my health issues is how much I force HIM to sacrifice just to be with me. As if normal female hormones weren't bad enough, he gets extra large doses of my crankiness and irritability. He puts up with my violent, inexplicable mood swings, even when we both know there is no good reason for me to feel that way. He frequently has to set aside his own priorities and obligations to come feed me, make sure I take my supplements, or hold me when I start hyperventilating. He understands when we are in the middle of a conversation, an argument, or an activity and I suddenly have to stop everything and lie down for a while. I hardly know what will happen when, Lord willing, I get better; I think he will feel like he has so much extra free time! I could not have found a better man to stand by me while my life is turned upside down.

I could go on but I think that's enough mental exertion for today. Coming up next time--new blood test results and the tiniest glimmer of a diagnosis!

Blessings upon you all in this holiday season!